


If At First You Don't Succeed

by Guggi



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Anal Sex, As does Joe, Blow Jobs, Floor Sex, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Nicky misses Malta, Riding, Sex Is Fun, Shower Sex, Switching, Things Go Wrong, Wall Sex, but in a fun way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28920417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guggi/pseuds/Guggi
Summary: Is this a 'Four Times Nicky And Joe Tried And Failed To Have Sex And One Time They Succeeded' fic?Yes.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56
Collections: All and More (18+) Kaysanova Gift Bag 2020





	If At First You Don't Succeed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fonulyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [fonulyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/pseuds/fonulyn) in the [All_and_More_Gift_Bag_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/All_and_More_Gift_Bag_2020) collection. 



> I chose the following from a prompt: 'laughing during sex, things go wrong or something unintentionally hilarious happens, but it in no way ruins the mood'
> 
> Enjoy! ^^

Joe grimaced and turned his head away. “Argh..” 

  


Nicky looked down at him. “What’s the matter?” 

  


“Got water in my eyes.” He rubbed them with his hand, trying to get the stinging sensation away. It did heal quickly by itself. He blinked a few times, shook his head and placed his hand back on Nicky’s hip for support. 

  


His knees ached from being pressed against the hard tiles for too long. The showerhead kept spurting out water, no matter how much he wished for it to stop doing its one job. 

  


“Want to stop?” 

  


Joe squinted up at Nicky. “No, I’ll finish what I started. Promise.” He had been so close to deepthroating before the mishap interrupted them. Leaning forward, he opened his mouth and swallowed Nicky’s semi-hard cock once more. 

  


Nicky moved to the right, trying to prevent the water from hitting Joe in the face again. Joe bobbed his head and an expert tongue licked along the shaft. Right when Nicky was getting back into it, he bucked his hips to fuck into Joe’s willing mouth, but as Nicky gripped his hair in a tight fist it changed their positions and water sprayed directly into Joe’s nostrils. 

  


Joe pulled back to gag and splutter. Nicky bent over to make sure he was fine, but Joe waved him away. “Let’s turn off the shower”, Nicky offered. 

  


Joe shook his head. “I’m good. It’s fine.” He shut his eyes tight and enclosed his lips around Nicky again. After a few tries, he almost managed to take Nicky to the back of his throat, but he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. 

  


“Joe.” 

  


“Mhmm?”

  


“This isn’t sexy. Please, let’s take this somewhere else.” He took a hold of Joe’s hands and helped him off the floor. 

  


* * *

  


After drying off, they ran down the long hallway, competing to see who could pull the towel wrapped around their waists off the other one first. Nicky sprinted toward their bedroom, but Joe caught him just before he could enter the place they agreed was the sanctuary. 

  


Nicky quickly turned around and pinned Joe to the wall. He tugged at the towel, but with little success. “How did you wrap this? Do you have a secret past as a boy scout that I don’t know about?” Joe grinned and leaned back confidently, observing Nicky’s intense struggle. 

  


When Nicky finally managed to loosen the towel, he let it fall to the floor by Joe’s feet. Without giving Joe a chance to rid him of the towel in the same way, Nicky pulls his own off in a swift motion and lets it join Joe’s on the floor. 

  


Nicky rests his elbow on the wall when he leans in to kiss Joe. A hand travels up Joe’s hip before it comes to a halt on his waist. Nicky pushes his leg in between Joe’s, urging him to spread them further apart. 

  


Joe’s arms wrapped around Nicky’s neck as the kiss deepens. They’re all hands and lips for a while, until a faint sound of a floorboard creaking had them holding their breath. Hushed voices mixed with footsteps. Andy and Nile. Headed straight their way. 

  


Panicked glances were exchanged, seemingly agreeing on one thing at the same time. “Run!” Nicky grabbed Joe’s hand and together they scurried to safety behind their bedroom door a quarter of a second before Andy rounded the corner. “What’s this?” The pair heard her wonder out loud, even if the door muffled her questioning voice. 

  


“Joe? Your towel.” Nicky pointed. Joe looked down at himself first and then back at Nicky’s naked form. “What about your own towel?”  _ Damn!  _

  


Nile walked next to Andy down the hall. Vaguely, they heard her muttering something about getting used to living with  _ guys and their negligent habits _ . Their voices became distant. 

  


“That was a little too close for comfort.” 

  


Joe shrugged. “We can only hope Booker will take the blame.” He smiled. “He owes me one.” Nicky slumped back on the bed. 

  


* * *

  


Joe straddled the still sprawled out Nicky. He bent over to capture Nicky’s lips in a hungry kiss. Skilled fingers traveled south, wrapping around Nicky’s hardening length and stroking until a groan finally escaped him. From his position, Joe could easily reach the nightstand. He opened the drawer using his free hand and rummaged through to find the lube. 

  


Succeeding in his quest, he popped the lid open and squeezed out a generous amount on Nicky’s dick. Nicky allowed himself a moment to look up at his husband in wonder, sitting comfortably on his lap and carefully inserting the first slicked up finger into his own entrance, wearing a concentrated look. Joe was no less mindful and adorable when he was sketching or painting than whenever he prepared himself to ride Nicky all night long. Hopefully. 

  


Joe shifted on top of Nicky, adding a second digit. They only made eye contact for a quarter of a second before Joe shut his tight in pure need and that sizzling expectation of having Nicky inside him instead of his own currently working fingers. 

  


They both knew Joe needed three fingers at least before he was open and loose enough to accommodate his husband’s girth, but after two failed encounters already, Joe was getting impatient. Deeming it was as good as it was going to get, he pulled out his fingers and moved further up, positioning himself. 

  


“Joe”, Nicky objected, concerned about his rushed pace. 

  


“No”, came the desperate reply. “Need you now.” Even so, Joe hissed at the initial discomfort when he lowered himself onto Nicky’s cock, letting the tip slip inside. Eager to be filled up, Joe ignored the stretching and burning sensation until he had Nicky completely sheathed inside him. Allowing his own body to adjust for a second or two, Joe only moved his hips up when the need for friction became too strong. 

  


He caught Nicky’s wrists and pinned them right above him, preventing him from placing his hands on Joe’s now bouncing thighs. Accepting the restraints, Nicky focused his attention on Joe, warm and tight around him. Joe rhythmically lifted and lowered himself on Nicky, like he had a fast paced song stuck in his head. 

  


_ creeeaaak!  _

  


Stopping dead in his movements, Joe looked down at Nicky quizzically. Nicky shrugged, to the best of his abilities. Joe bounced on his lap twice more, pressing Nicky further into the mattress beneath them. 

  


_ creeaak! creeaak!  _

  


“What the..” He let go of Nicky’s wrists and straightened his back, rocking his hips back and forth another time.  _ creeeaak!  _ That noise! Was their bed really that old? 

  


“We must be getting quite ancient if our bones creak like an old haunted house the minute we’re somewhat active”, Nicky suggested with an easy grin. Joe furrowed his brow in thought. With every roll of his hips, the bed squeaked and creaked in protest of his movements. Nicky gripped Joe’s thighs firmly, urging him to keep riding his cock. “C’mon, let’s see if we can make the bed break”, he tried. “Again.” 

  


Joe giggled. “You’re expensive in regards to beds.”

  


Nicky’s gaze turned from mischievous to hungry. “Try me.” He pulled Joe down onto him again and again, meeting him halfway by thrusting up. Every push and pull solicited a soft moan from Joe. He forgot all about taking charge and just let Nicky fuck into him while holding his thighs in place. 

  


Nicky was just about to reach for Joe’s hard and dripping cock when it happened again. 

  


_ crreeeeaaak! crash!  _

  


“That was a loud one! Maybe we should stop.”

  


“It doesn’t matter, tesoro.” He caressed Joe’s thigh. 

  


“I think I hear Nile walking around right outside our door, too.” Joe looked bashful. “I don’t like it when it’s so-- so  _ obvious _ .” 

  


Nicky nodded in understanding. He sent a longing thought to their little house in Malta with the blue walls and white curtains blowing in the wind. 

  


Right by the sea. 

  


Private. _ Undisturbed. _

  


“Let’s get dressed then.” 

  


* * *

  


Joe jumped around on one foot, the other raised in the air as he tried to put on an uncooperative sock. Nicky picked out a loose t-shirt first and looked through the drawer containing his boxers. Before he had a chance to grab his favorite pair, Joe bumped into him by accident causing Nicky to instinctively grasp Joe’s shoulders in an attempt to settle him. 

  


The two of them bonked into the wall, with Nicky still holding on tightly to Joe. Laughing apologetically, Joe backed away, but Nicky was fast and clasped him harder. “Walls don’t make as much noise”, he whispered suggestively into Joe’s ear, voice suddenly dripping with lust. 

  


Joe raised his eyebrows, thoughts going exactly were Nicky wanted them to. Neither had finished from any of their attempts so far. He didn’t need to consider anything, didn’t even need to think about it as he took three quick steps to the nightstand and found the lube for the second time that day. 

  


Nicky keenly lifted one leg as the first slick finger prodded at his entrance. Arms wrapped snugly around Joe’s neck as it slid past the muscle and worked its way around inside him. Joe’s thigh between Nicky’s legs served no purpose as Nicky willingly spread them wide. His cock twitched when Joe’s finger brushed over that sweet spot deep within. 

  


A second finger was added alongside the first, making Nicky squirm and beg silently for Joe to hurry up, add the third finger, no forget about the third finger, just fuck me now, please, please, now, do it now,  _ please-- _

  


As he slowly realised his prayers went unanswered, Nicky rolled his hips the moment the third finger joined the other two. He was now achingly hard, clenching and unclenching around Joe’s digits working him open. 

  


Finally,  _ finally _ , Joe pulled them out and positioned himself to enter a now desperate Nicky. He clinged to Joe, holding on all he was able to, as his legs were lifted up to enclose Joe’s hips. A simultaneous groan escaped them both just as the tip slid in. 

  


Joe waited a moment before he moved his hips leisurely, pushing in and out. Nicky’s heels dug into Joe’s back, urging him to fuck faster, harder. The pace turned steady and Nicky’s groans turned to whimpers every time Joe angled his thrusts to graze his prostate. 

  


Nicky’s hands moved down over Joe’s back, feeling the strong muscles at work, holding him up against the wall. His hair was damp and legs trembled at the continuous stimuli. Nicky’s head came to rest on Joe’s shoulder, a small voice going ‘please, Joe, faster, harder, please,  _ Yusuf! _ ’ 

  


With Nicky tight around him, begging so sweetly, Joe really had no way of denying his love his wishes. He fucked both faster and harder, earning soft moans in return. Nicky took himself in hand, stroking his leaking cock to the rhythm of Joe’s thrusts. 

  


Just as Joe looked down to savour the sight of Nicky pleasuring himself as his own cock disappeared into him over and over again, he was rewarded with a harsh lesson: socks and wooden floors don’t match when it comes to such strenuous activities. Neither had a chance to react before Joe slipped and they both fell to the floor with a heavy  _ thump! _

  


* * *

  


“Oww.” Nicky rubbed the back of his head and looked at his hand afterward, checking for blood. Joe, who managed to land softly in Nicky’s lap, ran his hand through Nicky’s hair, a concerned expression appearing in his eyes. “I’m fine”, he reassured after the initial shock, yet still growing exasperated by their continuous failures. “But I’m slowly starting to believe someone or something doesn’t want us to complete our current pursuits.” 

  


“Pursuits?” 

  


Nicky nodded. “Of coming.” 

  


Joe tittered. “Not to worry, honey. I’m adamant we’ll both finish, and soon.” Repositioning himself, Joe scooted his lower body further up Nicky’s hips. “I’ll personally see to it.” A cheeky grin painted his lips. He was still open enough from riding Nicky earlier. Nicky quickly caught on and pulled his torso up so they were both sitting straight, Joe warm and willing in his lap once more. 

  


Fingers dug into Nicky’s shoulders as Joe felt the tip stretch his rim and enter him for the second time that day. A shiver ran down his spine when Nicky’s hands caressed his back before coming to a rest around his moving waist. 

  


He reveled in the feeling of Nicky filling him. Joe leaned over to steal several of his husband’s tender kisses meant only for him, keening as he took Nicky to the root. Nicky’s cock twitched at the first roll of Joe’s hips and he stiffened beneath him when he started a steady rhythm. 

  


Joe comfortably placed his arms around Nicky’s neck, a welcoming embrace. They maintained eye contact during the first part. Nicky tilted his head back; he was quick to get lost in Joe’s kind eyes whenever and wherever. He would be a fool if he pretended that Yusuf’s eyes weren’t the first (positive) thing he noticed about his future lover all those centuries ago. Fierce and powerful, yet caring and compassionate. No matter what emotion, it showed clearly through Joe’s eyes. 

  


Nicky was awakened from his dreamy fantasies as Joe picked up the pace, fucking himself on Nicky with the skill of someone who had done it a thousand times before, yet with the moaning pleasure and wonder of someone doing it for the first time. 

  


Neither needed long before the heat in their bellies returned with full force, building up with every roll of Joe’s hips. With Joe’s forehead now resting on his own, needy whimpers of “Nicolò” and “Please, Nicky, my own Nicky” and Joe clenching tightly around him, Nicky was nearing the edge. 

  


He grabbed hold of Joe’s throbbing cock, smearing the precome out with his thumb, stroking him fast from the beginning. Joe moaned, muffled by Nicky’s lips on his own. Nicky wrapped his fingers around the length while still paying attention to the tip. In a sudden burst of relief from today’s defeats, Joe couldn’t contain his excitement as he came all over Nicky’s hand and stomach. He rocked faster, feeling Nicky twitching inside him. 

  


Joe was overstimulated and tired, content and weary, yet he still kept fucking until the pressure became too much for Nicky as well. Nicky came with a groan, fingers grasping his waist as he spilled inside Joe, who kept moving until he felt Nicky soften. 

  


Panting, Joe locked laughing eyes with his husband’s.  _ Finally _ , they seemed to communicate with one another. “We made it, tesoro”, Nicky said, still somewhat out of breath. Joe smiled and hid his face on Nicky’s shoulder. 

  


Later in bed, Joe rolled over to face Nicky. “This almost tested my patience more than that time in Prague.” Nicky laughed, soft and full of life. “I thought we were going to be arrested at some point.”

  


“We were!” 

  


Nicky shook his head. “No, that was in Bratislava.” 

  


“Oh, yeah”, Joe agreed. He nuzzled closer to his warm and relaxed lover, sheets heavy and comforting around them. Maybe it was time for another Malta vacation soon? 


End file.
